Consuming Louisville’s Carnivorous Correspondent Jay Garmon gives us the inside scoop on Louisville’s sci-fi convention in his occasional column “ConGlomeration Chronicles.”

As part of our continuing series on unraveling the mystery that is ConGlomeration, Louisville’s local science fiction convention, we answer the question: Just what the heck actually happens at a science fiction convention?

This is a bit like asking what happens during a Broadway show: The general idea never changes, but individual productions and performances can vary wildly. And like Broadway, sci-fi cons have a great deal to offer a wide variety of fans, from casual to devout.

The anatomy of a science fiction convention, as only Wikipedia could unironically describe it, usually consists of seven key elements:

• The Guests of Honor

• Programming
• Dealer’s Room
• Art Show
• Game Room
• Masquerade
• The Con Suite

While not every sci-fi con includes all of these attributes, this list accurately describes the vast majority of most conventions, including ConGlomeration.

The Guests of Honor, also known as GoHs (pronounced like goes) are the individuals that the convention’s organizing committee (known as the ConComm) has specifically invited to appear and participate. Guests of Honor are usually noted performers and professionals within science fiction, fantasy, and horror media. Most conventions will have multiple GoHs covering a wide spectrum of media, such as an Author Guest of Honor, an Artist Guest of Honor, a Filmmaker Guest of Honor, and so on. ConGlomeration invite two to three guests of honor annually, with at least one Artist Guest of honor every year. Past GoHs for ConGlomeration include Walter Koenig, Harry Turtledove, Ben Bova, and Boris & Julie Vallejo.

Programming, also known as panels, are the group discussions and activities that dominate most conventions. Typically guests of honor and other convention attendees will form panels to lecture, lead discussions, or field questions around an interesting science, media, or speculative fiction topic. Panel topics might be as esoteric as “Military Science fiction: Can you write it if you’ve never served?” or “The Bechdel Test: Is modern vampire fiction inherently misogynistic?” to flat out fan-service or snark like “When did Star Trek jump the shark?” Or “The cult of Joss Whedon”. Here’s the programming pocket guide for ConGlomeration 2010, which gives a snapshot of the volume and variety of programming at a moderately typical small convention. Stay tuned for information about ConGlomeration 2011 programming, as we have some crazy and unorthodox plans that might just involve you.

The Dealer’s Room, also known affectionately as the huckster’s room, is an exhibition of booths or tables where specialized dealers sell goods designed to appeal to sci-fi/fantasy and horror fans. The dealer’s room is almost always dominated by books, usually of out-of-print and/or used fiction, comics and gaming sourcebooks. T-shirts, costumes, collectables and craft items are also regularly sold in the dealer’s room. Local artists, crafters and (for better or for worse) self-published writers and musicians are encouraged to rent dealer space and ply their wares at local conventions. Think of it as a live-action version of eBay, Etsy and DeviantArt crossed with the nerdiest flea-market on earth — only more awesome. Local artists, we want you at ConGlomeration. Give us a shout.

The Art Show is just what it sounds like: an ad hoc gallery exhibition of genre artists — usually painters but often sculptors, woodcarvers, glass artists and textile crafters — that focus on speculative fiction topics. This can range from the classic knight versus dragon charcoal sketches to fine stoneware that just happens to include subtle elvish inscriptions, and every permutation in between. Most convention art shows offer juried awards, which attract professional artists with works high above the caliber many associate with science fiction fandom. Book cover artists or illustrators are typical Artist Guests of Honor, and they often participate as show judges or as competing artists. In many cases, the works displayed are available for auction or purchase, and many art shows (ConGlomeration included) run an on-site print show for being replica prints of juried paintings or ilustrations. ConGlomeration is also notable for having custom award trophies sculpted each year. We said it before but it bear repeating: Local artists, we want you at ConGlomeration. Give us a shout.

The Game Room is space dedicated to playing tabletop or computer games, particularly those that appeal to fanboys. Dungeons & Dragons games, elaborate boardgames such as Risk 2210, miniature wargames such as Warhammer 40K, or collectible card games like Magic: The Gathering are typical staples of convention games. Game tournaments may be conducted in the game room, with prizes awarded to champions. In the case of ConGlomeration, the game room is the nerve center of the con, as it is open 24 hours and provides a free-form activity that appeals to a wide cross-section of fans. If you want to run a game (or five) at ConGlomeration 2011, let us know.

The Masquerade is a beloved and notorious hallmark of many conventions; it is essentially a costume contest where fans dress up as their favorite fictional and/or historical characters and compete on the basis of audacity and accuracy. Masquerade often include skit performances to win the heart of the judges or the audience. Those guys dressed as Klingons hitting on the girls dressed as slave Leia? They’re usually part of the Masquerade. Don’t let the stereotypes fool you, though, as nobody throws a better party at ConGlomeration than the gang dressed as Ghostbusters.

The Con Suite, known formally as the hospitality suite, is an area where free or cheap snacks and drinks are provided for convention attendees. Where there’s food there’s people, and as such the con suite is the social center of most cons. Where possible, the con suite provides ample room to sit, talk, trade stories, watch movies, and play cards. Attendees often bring in homebaked goods and homebrewed drinks to enhance the typical selection of finger foods. In an ideal world, local restaurants, delis, bakeries, and grocers donate or discount their wares to the con suite in hopes of cheaply buying the loyalty of attendees. (This will work! Nerds are exceeding easy to bribe with food. Interested foodies should contact ConGlomeration.)

Those are the high spots at most conventions, but of course each convention is different. If you have general sci-fi convention questions, or specific inquiries about ConGlomeration, let’s share with the whole class and post in the comments below.