Dear Fairdale Bigfoot,
It’s hot. Unfortunately, I have a job where wearing a jacket and tie is not optional. What can I do to keep from becoming a sweaty mess when I leave the office for lunch, coffee or workday shenanigans?
Sweating In St. Matthews
Dear Sweating,
Oh, it’s hot, is it? Fairdale Bigfoot didn’t notice, what with the 40 pounds of thick brown fur covering his body and all.
So you have to wear a jacket and tie? Do you work for NASA in the 1960s?
Fairdale Bigfoot suggests you look into a seersucker or linen suit. (Though it’s best to avoid a Lenin suit if you work in a capitalist institution.) In fact, every summer around this time, Fairdale Bigfoot gets so frustrated with the heat that he begins to shed. Well, Fairdale Bigfoot either sheds because of the heat or because of this perpetual social anxiety (you humans like Fairdale Bigfoot, right? RIGHT?)
Anyway, the point is, Fairdale Bigfoot is naked by the end of July. So what does he do? He dusts off his old white linen suit and pours a tall mint julep. And it’s too hot for the regular forest lurking, so Fairdale Bigfoot sets his mind to the page. Fairdale Bigfoot writes gabby stories about his socialite friends and their problems, occasionally taking a break to write about astronauts or beatniks.
Okay, fine. By now you’ve probably connected all the dots. Fairdale Bigfoot is actually Tom Wolfe.
Sincerely,
Tom Wolfe
P.S. Fairdale Bigfoot’s advisors (the Masons) say the young people “don’t care” about Tom Wolfe or other “old guys” who “dress funny.” They suggest Fairdale Bigfoot do more about that linen/Lenin joke in the third paragraph. For those who think young Fairdale Bigfoot presents this advice for Sweating in St. Matthews:
Fairdale Bigfoot suggests you wear a linen suit to stay cool, and a Lenin suit if you Trotsky out into the midday sun.
Happy now?!
July 29th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Your Lenin joke is classic. I’m going to tell all my friends!
July 30th, 2010 at 6:17 pm
Well hurry up and tell ‘em
Don’t be Stalin !